I'm Having A Crisis

I left my job the job so horrible I forgot how to breath and how to see and how to get the work done so horrible worlds collided and the universe shook so horrible I could hear the world cry for putting me in this state of self-pity make me a victim please hurt for me please tear off your flesh and let me bleed for you please so that I am no one and the world is laughing at me with me the world is carrying me on its shoulders and I am pounding on its back screaming let me fall. please. Let me drop to my knees and blow the world, grab it by its balls and bite I'm a dyke you tool and I'm using you just for my benefit spit the worlds face and drown in its cum I am begging you to drop fall push ache pin me down while I scream because I am pushing through soil while digging my roots and I'm completely directionally challenged. I am climbing up fucking tree tops hopping to G-d the water won't swallow me whole- what a horrible way to die. Wandering if flames, earth, fire, water are always the worst way to go and fearing who I will be when one takes me. Is it so crazy to want to live a life for you without plannign what your future babies will do? To want to be happy to travel to see the world and maybe not save save save. Making no sense trying to be smart is a failing endeavor.